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Tasteless
Jokes
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| One day mom
was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M
magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine
until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and
handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we
do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you
should spank him." |
| The owner
of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for
his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle
of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough
with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid
to cough!" |
A blonde woman
was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled
over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde. The cop asked
to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was
getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally
asked.
The policewoman
replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally
found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here
it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed
it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop. |
| "It was just
a misunderstanding, your honor," testified the man charged with indecent
exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the judge. "Well, you see,
this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most
in a woman, so I showed her." |
| A little girl
goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barbers
chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles
at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I
know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too." |
| Two Mexican
detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he
killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made
a hole in Juan." |
| Three Boy
Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to
crash. The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them
to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front
of them" The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!" The priest says, "Do we
have time?" |
